Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
