Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
