3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
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