My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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