I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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