The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
