Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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