Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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