Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Randomize
