its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
This show inspires me to have sex in space
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
