I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
this just has baby written all over it
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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