Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
