Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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