I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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