I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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