I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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