and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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