and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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