Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
