i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
