Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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