So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
