well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
