Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
