Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just want to make out with him forever
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
