I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
