Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
