Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
We need to get me chipped asap
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
