is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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