Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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