I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
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