I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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