I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
