your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
