they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
