there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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