i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
babies were throwing up all over the place
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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