Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
