They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
