I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I cannot find my penis.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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