help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Randomize
