So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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