The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize