After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
