Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
