I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
