I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Randomize
