those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
