Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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