Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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