The maid of honor just puked.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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