I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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