Welp...herpes.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
