sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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