She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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