I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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