if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
